August 17, 2012
I AM WEAK BUT HE IS STRONG!
So far, this year has been very eventful and humbling. First, I moved to a new home. Well, not so new, it's an older 70's model home that needs some work. I am still not unpacked and organized, as I am sure most people can relate. But, I am very thankful and blessed. It is the first and only home I have ever purchased on my own - that is, by myself, without a husband or any help from anyone else. Being divorced means being on my own, relying on no one else but myself and, of course, JESUS. I truly relied on JESUS to be my provider, and HE provided. Thanks be to the Lord God Almighty for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me!
On another note, I had a major attack of an immune system illness which left me unable to pastor or minister at the nursing homes or hospitals for a few months. The doctors and specialists have said that my compromised immune system caused my body to shut down. The doctors are sure that the traumatic emotional stress from my divorce was a high contributer. They are keeping an eye on my blood levels and immune system levels to make sure they don't fall into the danger zone. As for an official diagnosis - it is an "undiagnosed immune deficiency disorder". In layman's terms - they ain't gotta clue! But that doesn't worry me, because my LORD has a clue - and HE will take care of me.
With a lot of rest and prayer (believe me, a lot of prayer - well, with some whining also) all is back on track now - I am feeling great and going back to the nursing homes in a few weeks - YES, I am ready to serve my LORD at the nursing homes and hospitals with gladness! Although, I never stopped "serving" GOD completely, just not at the nursing homes or hospitals. I have had many opportunities to minister when GOD opened the doors for me. Again, thank you my dear LORD and SAVIOR for providing for me and continuing to use me while in my physical distress.
While settling in to my humble little home and trying to recover from illness (and continuing to work at my full time secular job at a law firm), I had some time to reflect on my own humanity. Working hard to try to serve my LORD and work full time took its toll on my human, yet frail body, and it almost shut down. Going through a traumatic divorce didn't help either. It has been 2 years since we split and it still wears me down. Believe me folks, pastors and ministers are not immune to marital problems. My ex-husband was a pastor also, for over 25 years, and that didn't make us the perfect couple, did it. No excuses. Just epic fail. Now, with the LORD's mercy and forgiveness, it's time to move on.
I realized very quickly that I am not perfect - I am not super-human - I cannot do everything. As a result, I was humbled. I spent most of my time praying and talking to GOD, studying His Word, leaning on family and friends, and relying upon HIM for help and healing.
Stress really can kill you, folks. It almost killed me. My immune system was to a dangerous "near fatal" level, and it almost got me. Mine was 90% divorce-related, but nevertheless, any kind of traumatic stress can cause your body to fall apart. It has taken me 2 years to recover. For some, it takes longer. For others, less. Each person is different. I am over 50 years old now, so age had a part to play in it.
PRAISE THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY for being my strength when I was weak and weary and for holding me up when I could not hold myself up!
It is my hope and prayer that anyone who reads this will learn from what happened to me and LEAN on GOD for everything that comes your way. Be prepared for attacks from the devil. If I did not have JESUS, I know beyond a doubt that I would not be alive today. HIS strength kept me going. HIS love kept me alive. HIS grace and mercy healed me and renewed me.
OH, GRACIOUS FATHER IN HEAVEN, WONDERFUL HOLY SPIRIT, PRECIOUS LORD JESUS, THE ONLY TRIUNE GOD, THE ONLY TRUE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE, I BOW DOWN BEFORE YOU IN HUMBLE ADORATION AT YOUR LOVING KINDESS AND MERCY. YOU HAVE SHOWN ME GRACE AND MERCY WHEN I DID NOT DESERVE IT. YOU GAVE ME LOVE AND HEALING WHEN I NEEDED TO BE HEALED AND NEEDED TO BE COMFORTED. I HUMBLY PRAY THAT YOU REACH OUT TO ALL WHO ARE IN NEED AND GIVE THEM THE LOVE AND HOPE THAT THEY NEED IN THEIR TIMES OF DISTRESS AND HOPELESSNESS. I AM FOREVER YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT. HOLY BE YOUR NAME FOREVER, AMEN.
1 Chronicles 16:11
Psalm 18:32New International Version (NIV)
I AM WEAK BUT HE IS STRONG!
So far, this year has been very eventful and humbling. First, I moved to a new home. Well, not so new, it's an older 70's model home that needs some work. I am still not unpacked and organized, as I am sure most people can relate. But, I am very thankful and blessed. It is the first and only home I have ever purchased on my own - that is, by myself, without a husband or any help from anyone else. Being divorced means being on my own, relying on no one else but myself and, of course, JESUS. I truly relied on JESUS to be my provider, and HE provided. Thanks be to the Lord God Almighty for all the blessings you have bestowed upon me!
On another note, I had a major attack of an immune system illness which left me unable to pastor or minister at the nursing homes or hospitals for a few months. The doctors and specialists have said that my compromised immune system caused my body to shut down. The doctors are sure that the traumatic emotional stress from my divorce was a high contributer. They are keeping an eye on my blood levels and immune system levels to make sure they don't fall into the danger zone. As for an official diagnosis - it is an "undiagnosed immune deficiency disorder". In layman's terms - they ain't gotta clue! But that doesn't worry me, because my LORD has a clue - and HE will take care of me.
With a lot of rest and prayer (believe me, a lot of prayer - well, with some whining also) all is back on track now - I am feeling great and going back to the nursing homes in a few weeks - YES, I am ready to serve my LORD at the nursing homes and hospitals with gladness! Although, I never stopped "serving" GOD completely, just not at the nursing homes or hospitals. I have had many opportunities to minister when GOD opened the doors for me. Again, thank you my dear LORD and SAVIOR for providing for me and continuing to use me while in my physical distress.
While settling in to my humble little home and trying to recover from illness (and continuing to work at my full time secular job at a law firm), I had some time to reflect on my own humanity. Working hard to try to serve my LORD and work full time took its toll on my human, yet frail body, and it almost shut down. Going through a traumatic divorce didn't help either. It has been 2 years since we split and it still wears me down. Believe me folks, pastors and ministers are not immune to marital problems. My ex-husband was a pastor also, for over 25 years, and that didn't make us the perfect couple, did it. No excuses. Just epic fail. Now, with the LORD's mercy and forgiveness, it's time to move on.
I realized very quickly that I am not perfect - I am not super-human - I cannot do everything. As a result, I was humbled. I spent most of my time praying and talking to GOD, studying His Word, leaning on family and friends, and relying upon HIM for help and healing.
Stress really can kill you, folks. It almost killed me. My immune system was to a dangerous "near fatal" level, and it almost got me. Mine was 90% divorce-related, but nevertheless, any kind of traumatic stress can cause your body to fall apart. It has taken me 2 years to recover. For some, it takes longer. For others, less. Each person is different. I am over 50 years old now, so age had a part to play in it.
PRAISE THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY for being my strength when I was weak and weary and for holding me up when I could not hold myself up!
It is my hope and prayer that anyone who reads this will learn from what happened to me and LEAN on GOD for everything that comes your way. Be prepared for attacks from the devil. If I did not have JESUS, I know beyond a doubt that I would not be alive today. HIS strength kept me going. HIS love kept me alive. HIS grace and mercy healed me and renewed me.
OH, GRACIOUS FATHER IN HEAVEN, WONDERFUL HOLY SPIRIT, PRECIOUS LORD JESUS, THE ONLY TRIUNE GOD, THE ONLY TRUE GOD OF THE UNIVERSE, I BOW DOWN BEFORE YOU IN HUMBLE ADORATION AT YOUR LOVING KINDESS AND MERCY. YOU HAVE SHOWN ME GRACE AND MERCY WHEN I DID NOT DESERVE IT. YOU GAVE ME LOVE AND HEALING WHEN I NEEDED TO BE HEALED AND NEEDED TO BE COMFORTED. I HUMBLY PRAY THAT YOU REACH OUT TO ALL WHO ARE IN NEED AND GIVE THEM THE LOVE AND HOPE THAT THEY NEED IN THEIR TIMES OF DISTRESS AND HOPELESSNESS. I AM FOREVER YOUR HUMBLE SERVANT. HOLY BE YOUR NAME FOREVER, AMEN.
1 Chronicles 16:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.
seek his face always.
Psalm 18:32New International Version (NIV)
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and keeps my way secure.
and keeps my way secure.
Psalm 22:19
New International Version (NIV)
19 But you, Lord, do not be far from me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
Romans 8:26
New International Version (NIV)
26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.
2 Corinthians 12:10
2 Corinthians 12:10
New International Version (NIV)
10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
