Friday, November 9, 2012

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

November 9, 2012

What is true unconditional love?
What does it mean to love someone the way Jesus commanded us to? 
How can we possibly understand the Love of God if we ourselves do not love others?

I am no stranger to experiencing unconditional or conditional love in my life.  Conditional love is contingent upon certain factors taking place or not taking place.  For instance, if you tell someone "I will disown you if you [do such and such]" or "I will not love you anymore if you [do such and such]", then those things are conditional and not true unconditional love. 

However, there is nothing wrong with setting boundaries as to what you will or will not put up with.  And, with those boundaries become consequences.  Enabling someone's addiction or bad habit is not showing love at all.  In fact, it is the opposite.  If we do anything to cause someone else to stumble, then we are also guilty of sin ourselves. 

But, you truly cannot stop loving someone, if you ever really loved them unconditionally.  Even through something as painful as divorce or abuse, you may despise what someone did, but if you ever really loved them, it will always be there inside you a little.  We are all brothers and sisters in Christ, even if we dislike someone.  You don't have to like them to love them.  At least, not the God-kind of love.

Also, think about your child or children.  The moment they come into this world, you wrap your arms around them and your heart goes "out the window" - you know that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you will love that child till the day you die - no matter what.  You would die for that child.  You would sacrifice anything to make sure that child is safe.  I believe that is instilled in us by God through His Holy Spirit, so that we may know the kind of love He has for us.  And, no matter how hard we try, we can never fully comprehend the Love of God. 

So, how can any of us be sure we truly love someone unconditionally without being an enabler or allowing sin in our homes?  First of all, especially mothers (and I am a mother of 3 young men), you must set the boundaries for your household - write it down or just keep it in your mind - things to allow and not allow - for instance, in my household, I would never agree to go buy cigarettes or alcohol for someone who is an addict.  In fact, smoking or getting drunk is not allowed at all - and, that goes for other things too, like cursing, drugs and porn.  If you allow it in your house, then you are allowing that sin to dwell in your house and you are accountable to God for that.  Your house is God's house - not just yours.  Also, once you let that sin come in, it is almost impossible to get it out of your house.  Trust me, I know.  You are also opening up the opportunity for other things to enter in like abuse and violence.  Set your boundaries for your household and stick to it. 

Another example, if you have a family member or child who gets arrested for a crime that they did commit - like possession or fighting - then don't bail them out.  I set the rule in my house when my boys were teens that, if they were ever arrested, they better be ready to spend the night in jail.  I will never bail you out.  Now if it is something circumstantial and they were innocent, then you can make the call as to whether to help them get a lawyer or not.  But, if they do the crime, they need to do the time.  That way, they can learn from their mistakes.  Yes, you can be emotional support for them, visit them and pray for them - show them you love them - but enabling them will not help at all.  I am very thankful to say I never got that phone call.

This goes for other things also - if you do anything that makes someone else sin, then you are guilty in God's eyes of sinning also.  Let's say, you take a friend out for dinner.  And, your friend is a recovering alcoholic, but you order a beer for yourself.  That would be very wrong.  Your action could cause your friend to stumble, and God will hold you accountable for that.  So, be considerate of others. 

We should always be kind and loving to one another - people do watch what you do and say, even if you don't know it.  If you are at work and you gossip and cut down other people, then you are opening up the opportunity for others to do the same. 

We cannot "not" sin - because we are born with sin in us because of the "fall", but we can be mindful of what we do and say and try to do our best.  If you find out that you did or said something to cause hurt to someone or cause them to sin, then first, ask God to forgive you and then try to help the other person if you can.  And, of course, pray for them.

The ultimate unconditional love is what Jesus did for us on the Cross.  No one can top that.  But, Jesus did command us to love one another and we should try our best to be a good light for Jesus.  What we say and do reflects on HIM.  How can others want to know more about the love of Jesus if we are filled with bitterness, hate, resentment, despair and sinfulness?

LORD JESUS, YOU ARE SO WONDERFUL AND PERFECT AND POWERFUL.  YOU ARE WITHOUT SIN.  I AM NOT.  I STUMBLE.  I FALL.  I FAIL.  I TRY TO DO BETTER.  PLEASE FILL ME WITH YOUR HOLY SPIRIT AND SHOW ME WHERE I DO WRONG SO I CAN DO BETTER.  THANK YOU FOR YOUR LOVING KINDNESS, FORGIVENESS AND MERCY, MOST WONDERFUL LORD AND SAVIOR.  AMEN.

John 3:16 (NIV)(16) For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

John 13:34-35 (NIV)
(34) "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
(35) By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Romans 12:9-11 (NIV)
(9)Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
(10) Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.
(11) Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord.

Ephesians 4:1-3 (NIV)(1) As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.
(2) Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
(3) Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

1 Thessalonians 4:9 (NIV)
(9) Now about your love for one another we do not need to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love each other.

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